* If I were a month I would be: Michaelbruaryer
* If I were a day of the week I would be:Funday, because i love fun, yippee!
* If I were a time of day I would be exactly two thirteen, no more, no less
* If I were a planet I would be: a wormhole instead
* If I were a sea animal I would be: phytoplankton
* If I were a direction I would be: over yon
* If I were a piece of furniture I would be: a chandelier so that i can fall on you and have all my spinities impale you
* If I were a historical figure I would be: Stalin
* If I were a liquid I would be: pepto bismol
* If I were a stone, I would be: sharp, for better cutting
* If I were a tree, I would be: made into paper
* If I were a bird, I would be: an owl, so my vomit can be touched by children in laboratories
* If I were a tool, I would be: a crowbar (half-life)
* If I were a flower/plant, I would be: carnivorous
* If I were a kind of weather, I would be: THE APOCALYPSE
* If I were a musical instrument, I would be: the kitar
* If I were an animal, I would be: A hippo, biting people in half even though i look like a coward
* If I were a color, I would be: The Colour Out of Space, i make people go insane
* If I were an emotion, I would be: supremacy
* If I were a vegetable, I would be: a momato
* If I were an element, I would be: Radon, killing small children in basements and making kick-ass video cards
* If I were a car, I would be: Hilter's Volkswagen
* If I were a song, I would be: Bohemian Rhapsody
* If I were a food, I would be: DEATH
* If I were a place, I would be: DEATH...valley
* If I were a material, I would be: edible
*If I were a taste, I would be: stamp glue
* If I were a scent, I would be: fried dough
* If I were a religion, I would be: one with theme songs from the lord of the rings and star wars
* If I were a word, I would be: infinity
* If I were an object, I would be: an SUV
* If I were a body part I would be: The Cerebellum
* If I were a facial expression I would be: "i cant believe i ate the whole thing"
* If I were a subject in school I would be: Accounting I
* If I were a cartoon character I would be: Gil
* If I were a shape I would be: parabola
* If I were a number I would be: 1337